Single Parents’ Guide: LIVE and LOVE BIG!

What are you waiting for?

Up until a few years ago, when I didn’t have a partner/boyfriend or husband, I’d wait. And wait. And wait. Now that I look back, I don’t know what I was waiting for. I didn’t travel, I didn’t fix up my house how I wanted it, I didn’t do a lot of things I wanted to do.

Today I received the most magical email from a dear friend I’ve known since I was 17 years old. He and I are much older now. I married, and had a son, and divorced. He has never married. In the email, he described an exquisite dinner, at the water’s edge, with soft music playing, fine wine, and a warm evening. He was moved to tears at this awesome moment in his life. And he was alone.

My friend lives in Sweden. The email was from South Africa.

He’s traveled widely and frequently all our adult lives. He would like to have a girlfriend or wife, sure. The right person hasn’t appeared yet. He never lets this stop him from doing things alone or he finds groups of friends to be with. He mountain bikes, he skis on frozen lakes in the winter, he flies to South Africa for vacation, he creates beautiful, romantic, (yes, romantic) dinners for himself and enjoys them alone on the balcony of his apartment.

In short, he is *not* waiting. He is living and loving big and now! He loves his friends and best of all, he loves himself. He creates beautiful, fun or nurturing experiences for himself frequently. He truly enjoys his own company — and even if you have a partner, learning to truly enjoy one’s own company is a sublime pleasure indeed.

What can you do today to live and love big? Dance around the living room with your kids and laugh and hug them extra tight? Brew one perfect cup of herbal tea and arrange a few cookies on a plate, sit and savor them after the kids are in bed? Maybe sit and breathe deeply a few times and just say to yourself “you lived and loved well today, good job.”

Please comment below with something you’ve done or will do to live and love big! Thanks for reading.


  1. Love this post. It’s so true, and so important to do! Our lives are NOW not when (s/he shows up/I have more money/time/freedom . . . etc. etc.) One thing I started with was just buying myself flowers to have in the house, esp. in the winter when I lived in the cold, dreary north. They brightened up my home, and my spirits!

    • Kimberly Graham

      Thanks Shannon. I was standing in front of a judge the other day with my client — for her plea and sentencing. She was there for a minor crime (as crimes go, a simple misdemeanor). The judge could tell she was very smart and needed to be doing something with her life. He asked her about her education and what she wanted to do. She had a good goal, one that would require more education. He said “what are you waiting for? Waiting is akin to failure.” He is wise and so right. Do something. Something. There are few times when waiting is what we need to do — more often than not, waiting is just saying “I’m not going to really engage in my life until X happens.”